It's that time of year again when people look to the future and imagine what they hope to achieve that would have their lives be more satisfying and successful. Most will think about making resolutions for the new year with resignation and default to listing the same promises from years past.

If we look at the motivation behind past resolutions, we discover the parts of us and our lives that we are less than happy about...parts that remind us of our limitations, failures and comparisons to others. Perhaps, this negative emotional attachment is significant in producing the repetitive incompletions of past years' promises. If we are able to accept ourselves as we are and identify areas we choose to alter with a positive motivational investment, we may alter the end results.

For example, if you promise to lose 25 pounds in the next 6 months, explore how much of that goal is attached to an already present negative assessment about your current body. That negative declaration then accompanies every action and intention around your weight loss plan and will predictably result in a weight gain, plateau, or at best, a temporary loss.

If, however, the motivational declaration is positive, exploring a new evolution of self, there may be a different end result. Declaring a commitment to enjoy expanded health and wellness as the context for your life will demand a shift in attitude, a new relationship with self and others, and will require different choices for activities that support aliveness. New choices may include quality and quantity of food intake and physical activities that enliven your body.

Making goals realistic and attainable can also increase the probability of success. If you cannot even imagine achieving the identified goals, it will be difficult to set up interim steps along the way. When you declare yourself as living in abundance and freedom, you have created a powerful foundation for a qualitative shift in thinking and behaving regardless of your current income, job and spending behaviors. Still it is important to measure increases in financial income and freedom in choosing how you spend money. Living out of resignation, defeat and deprivation will produce a very different outcome.

So write your New Year's resolutions by first stating the context and declaration of motivation that will carry you forward. Then list some of the specific outcomes you are intending as a result of this new context. Always return to the foundational declaration to assess whether it has been actively guiding you. For example, if you see less success in creating expanded income, assess whether you have been living consistently with your declaration about living from an attitude of abundance and freedom. Everything lives as an energetic flow that is moving with grace and ease or is being constricted with conversations that block or interfere with that flow.

When you have identified your declared intentions, make a picture collage that expresses the energy, the motivation, specific results and the essence of this vision for your life. With old magazines, cut out images that represent your visions and goals and paste them on a poster board. Place your vision poster where you will see it every day. Then allow you subconscious mind to engage with the subliminal messages every day.

Here are some examples of declarations that may provide a qualitative shift in motivation and perception.

1. I promise to live with honor and respect for myself and others.
Evaluative measures: decreasing my negative conversations and gossip, frequency that I take a daily walk, and maintaining regular communication with people that are important to me.
Note the increase in social opportunities that are available to you, the changes in your body size and stamina, and increases in networking referrals for you and from you to others.

2. I promise to live with an abundant energy of love and success.
Evaluative measures: decreasing my negative conversations about myself and others, focusing on my gifts and talents, discovering non-financial ways of contributing and gifting, celebrating what I am grateful for daily and acknowledging others for their contributions.
Note the status of your finances, resources that are gifted to you, and ability to sleep at night without stress.

3. I promise to live as though I "am enough" and "have enough".
Evaluative measures: decrease in "not enough" conversations with myself and others, focusing on "what is possible" rather than "not possible", and recognizing my fears and taking actions that move beyond them.
Note increased energy and freedom, achieving goals in different areas of your life, and expanded giving in different areas of your life.

http://pittsburgh.about.com/cs/holidays/tp/resolutions.htm
http://www.washington.edu/newsoom/news/1997archive/12-97archive/k122397.html

Making a list and checking it twice? Make sure that you and your well-being is at the top of the list. Abiding by the many expectations and rituals that surround the holiday activities can drive one to being over-anxious, exhausted, and feeling as though you have not done enough, done it good enough or that you are simply not enough.

These tensions lead to over-doing without knowing when to stop, over-eating as you try to fill the emptiness and grab quick energy, and over-spending on people and gifts that are beyond your means and beyond necessity. Take a look at your lists and ask yourself whether something is authentically important and pleasurable for you or is it a "should" that has been passed on along your life history. Bring forward a conscious adult you to make new choices based on your current life values and means.

Re-evaluate the importance of your patterns and look to alter those that are no longer necessary. Experiment with letting go of and altering some of the rituals just to test their emotional impact. You are always the interpreter of your reality so design the interpretation and reality that best serves you now, in this current life situation and as a conscious adult. If you have not re-assessed your patterns, they most likely are those designed and promised by the child and adolescent you.


Re-evaluation List
(Who is the character in you who is emotionally attached to this activity?)

1. Holiday decorations--tree, the house, outdoor, neighborhood competitions, shopping mall tours, etc.
2. Food rituals--sweets, meals, dishes, dinners vs. visits with people, alcohol or not, etc.
3. Gifts--family, friends, clients, support staff, fellow workers, neighbors, mailperson. (number of gifts, dollar limits, quality of gifts, re-gifting, etc.)
4. Holiday letters and greeting cards--(number, letter and/or card, email letter, formal vs. informal, just sign or write a note, who to send to, etc.)
5. Gatherings--family, friends, neighbors, work, before vs. after the holidays, etc.

Write down as many of the details of your current practices and consciously re-evaluate for pleasure and necessity. Experiment and notice your responses. For example, can you allow yourself to receive a gift without having to give one in return? Have you scheduled "down-times" for yourself and your family?

Keep a written copy of your experiments and your responses. Next year, add to the list of changes and allow yourself to explore even more. What we are able to bring to the level of conscious choice gives us an authenticity of self-expression and loving.

http://ww5.bhg.com/story.jhtml?storyid=/templatedata/lhj/story/data/StressbustersNaturalUP_06162004.xml&ordersrc=goog3health0805
http://www.self-guided.com/newsletter/RT-2004-12-02/htm

Holiday activities are the best times for observing children at their best and worst. The child's awe and simple trust in the big man in red or in seeing colorful lights while imagining reindeer pulling a sleigh through the sky is a beautiful thing to experience.

Demanding greed, resistance to direction, increase in aggressiveness and overeractive wildness are also themes of children's behavior during holiday activities. While a child may behave similarly at other times of the year, the spotlight of intensity seems to be more evident during this season.

There are good reasons for this disruptive behavior. Grownups surround children with expectations about what gifts they might want. They then use the gift-giving hopes to coerce the child into behaving appropriately for weeks before the arrival of the gifts. "He knows if you've been bad or good," for goodness sake.

Kids schedules are disrupted with shopping jaunts, additional babysitters, participation in parties, gift sharing, increased sugar intake, disappointments of unfulfilled expectations. Nothing is more painful than watching a dressed-for-the-cold, exhausted child being pulled along the shopping center highways by a good-intentioned grownup who is fulfilling some inner demand for getting a gift list completed. I wonder what the big person in this scenario would feel and do if they were put in the child's place. So let's put some sanity and stability to the process of surviving the holidays with your children.

Tips and Reminders
1. Evaluate and release the demands you are putting on yourself and, as a result your children, for holiday activities. (Notice who is making that demand on you and decide which activities support you in your current life. Make alterations accordingly.)
2. Design activities that are short-term, fun and without demands for perfection. (Overstimulation is a major issue. As soon as the child is no longer engaging with interest, move on to another activity or rest time.)
3. Keep the child's schedule for eating and sleeping consistent. (Even when there is a babysitter, require consistency as best you can.)
4. Limit sugar and carbonated drink intake. (Keep the diet nutritionally balanced.)
5. Maintain special cuddle, reading, and play times with your child. (It will support you in taking a break from the anxiety-ridden "should list" playing in your head and provide provide the quiet come-down of overstimulation.)
6. Continue these tips and behaviors all year round.

Have a satisfying and gratifying holiday season.
Party brightens kids' holidays
Kids need help with food choices, too